Thursday, September 24, 2009

BEHOLD! He hath spoken!

That's right boys and girls, our president once again looking presidential. This time at a historic U.N. summit where historic things have taken a historic turn into rhetoric. As many of you, not blind to the world, know, Obama gave a giant kiss to the U.N. in a form of one of his verbal cabals. From multiple references to the "regime change" in the US (the "I'm not Bush" b.s.) to how we should disarm and all be merry, with the trademark swinging of the head from left to right with every sentence fragment spewed, Obama has delivered yet another whopper for the Obamaphiles.
"The historic resolution we just adopted enshrines our shared commitment to a goal of a world without nuclear weapons," Obama said immediately after the vote to "lock down all vulnerable nuclear materials within four years".
The type writer wielding monkeys must have been up for weeks compiling that speech. And no, I am not being racist, for all you soft hearted folks. The monkey analogy is reminiscent of a Soviet Physics book written by M. Perelman, in the 30's. There he states that according to the chaos theory (no, not the one from "Jurassic Park") if you give a couple of monkeys , typewriters and teach them to hit the keys at random, they will eventually write everything that has ever been or will be written... And so on... Now that we're past that... The monkeys have been working overtime on this one. And why not? The U.S. is up in rotation to hold the council presidency this month and Obama was the first American president to preside over a Security Council summit. El Presidente got to do a couple of fun things like calling the meeting into session and announcing that "the draft resolution has been adopted unanimously.", with Michelle Obama behind him, drooling with satisfaction. I guess she's finally proud to be an American.
Now that we've wiped the tears of joy and pride in our leader out of our eyes and done crapping our pants with infantile satisfaction , lets see if reality will descend upon us light, like a feather or hard, like a dump truck. So we're all in agreement about no nukes. We must fully regulate all weapons grade nuclear material in the next four years (with a wand swiftly pulled right out of Joe Biden's ass) and disarm and so on. Oh yeah, and we can't attack someone who doesn't have nukes according to China, oh yeah and we're in agreement to "untie the knots" of nations seeking nuclear non-proliferation according to Russia...
I'm glad we agree with our formerly Communist and currently Communist "friends". Don't worry folks, it will all be ok, 'cause states without nuclear weapons are guaranteed access to peaceful nuclear technology for electricity generation.
Wait a minute... Something smells rotten in the state of Denmark... So countries that don't have nukes will get the technology to make nukes? and yes, you can still make nukes even if the reactor is not "Capable" of making weapons grade fission material. Because as much as we want to trust in that shiny thought, we can't escape the laws of physics. All they would need to do would be to expand the centrifuge and keep the plutonium brewing a bit longer and whala! You go from 3% enriched for "electricity" purposes, to 93% and they got them some "NUKULIR" weapons grade jambalaya.
So, to sum things up, everyone agrees. We're committed to dropping our trousers, Russia is in agreement that we should "untie the knots" for states looking for Nuclear Non-proliferation and China is in agreement that we shouldn't hit countries with no known nukes (since all countries are so forthcoming about their nukes in the first place).
**brakes screeching**
Umm... What are we in agreement about? Screw it, it doesn't matter, because Obama got to do historic things today at the U.N. The only missed opportunity for Obama was that he forgot to pitch some t-shirts to the crowd to raise money for his 2012 campaign, which, from the sound of the rhetoric he's already running.