The trouble with Nigerians...

I still recall an anecdote from the "old country" that goes something like this:

Someone told a joke at the zoo and all the animals laughed except the giraffe. Three days later the giraffe starts cracking up. He just got it. Sound takes time to travel.

If you're not rolling with laughter and soiling your self, don't feel bad. That one is from 4th grade. But watching the news about Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the now infamous Nigerian "would be" bomber, forced my mind to resurrect that anecdote. Except, the giraffe is us. How big of a proverbial kick in the groin will it take for Professor Obamassiah to start rethinking his approach, or the lack there of, toward homeland security? Not that I don't have faith in Janet Napolitano, who disturbingly resembles Glenn Shadix (the actor who played Otho in Beetle Juice). I mean she does take up space... She does have a flat top... So if she says nothing is wrong, then I have to believe that some known radical sociopath trying to blow up a plane over US soil is just minor stuff. I mean, Obama knows best, so if it takes him almost a week to respond to this it must be fairly unimportant. I mean, it took him eight months to name a TSA chief, so a week is penuts. The system works!.. But then I turn on the news this morning and a chill runs down my spine....

I see the President and he's not on Oprah, so I know something is wrong.

"A systemic failure has occurred, and I consider that totally unacceptable," Obama says.

But how? Gestapo Janet just told us everything is kosher...

"Had this critical information been shared, it could have been compiled with other intelligence and a fuller, clearer picture of the suspect would have emerged," he said. "The warning signs would have triggered red flags and the suspect would have never been allowed to board that plane for America."

fhew!... Im glad Professor O was there to break it down for me as to what should have happened. But.....

"I have ordered government agencies to give me a preliminary report Thursday about what happened...I will insist on accountability at every level!.."

Yes, Mister President, heads must roll!!!! Now you're cooking with gas! But where do we start? Do we go to Napolitano and hold her accountable for unexcusable neglect of obvious "red flags" and gaps in her agency's execution of set policies? Or maybe we should start at the top of the "system" (since this is a systemic failiure) and hold the President accountable for putting the country in danger by his obvious neglect and downplaying of radical Anti-western-ism, in the form of radical Islam, that is sweeping the globe? Which, just like Fascism and Communism before it, is just an excuse for the under-developed to blame their shortcomings on the more well off. But wait! I got it!!! The CIA is responsible! I mean it's their job to report these things, right? It's not like their agency's morale has been flushed down the toilet by the "water boarding" witch hunt earlier this year. Besides, it seems to be a common policy for this administration to bash a particular group and then expect their full cooperation immediately after, such as Obama's outburst against the 'fat-cat bankers'.

It's cool. The President had ordered a full panel inquiry, so as soon as he gets all the right advisers together and they tell Barry what to do and how to wipe his you-know-what, we'll be safe again. So just like the mighty giraffe, we'll get it. It might just take a while and maybe a few successful attacks... But we'll do something about this!!!! Barry said so! So let's just blame Bush and ramble on.

Not Another Nobel Peace Prize

A great honor has been bestowed on our Messiah today. Obama has joined the likes of Michail Gorbachev and Yassar Arafat in the annals of Nobel this morning. As some of us may have heard over the wire, the Stockholm based Nobel Committee, has awarded Obama with the Nobel Peace Prize for "extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples." And of course, after the historic, rhetoric UN summit, Obama is well deserving of the prize, especially since the Nobel committee recognized Obama's efforts to solve complex global problems including working toward a world free of nuclear weapons. The "hope" is that the selection would be viewed as "support and a commitment for Obama.", said Aagot Valle, a lawmaker for the Socialist Left party who joined the committee this year.
Now some would call this situation pathetic, since Obama was nominated for the prize, amongst over 200 other applicants(the most ever) back on February 1, not even two weeks after he took office. Some would say that the committee has become a mockery of itself, since it is now filled with a bunch of bias Socialists and has made a joke out of the Nobel Prize in the past decade by awarding a PEACE prize to a man (Arafat) who invented airplane hijacking and a former Soviet dictator(Gorbachev). Not to mention Algore for his never ending efforts in pursuing a junk science and to Carter for being a senile liberal douche.
Now, I might have become too cynical in my ladder years, but any time a socialist talks about peace and nuclear disarmament, it makes me want to gag. Why, you ask? Well, growing up in the USSR, mainly under the Socialist reign of a former Nobel Peace Prize winner, I can't help but recall the "we're for peace" and "no nukes" B.S. that was force fed to us on a daily basis by the Soviet propaganda machine. Socialists and Communists always seem to be all for peace. It's just that their definition of peace is a bit different from us, the un-indoctrinated.
Well, I can go on about how pathetic it is that the Nobel Committee has become so obvious in their bias toward frenzy boasted popularity of a man who hasn't done the things he was awarded for, when selected or ever. Or the fact that a peace prize has been awarded(in the past decade) to people who's names are synonymous with war, oppression, terrorism and conjured, alarmist lies. But I won't. I'll just agree with Obama when he says "I don't feel that I deserve to be in the company of so many of the transformative figures who have been honored by this prize"

All I have to say to this is, it was one of my childhood dreams to win the Nobel Peace Prize. Instead, I'd rather ACTUALLY DO something noble for peace.

BEHOLD! He hath spoken!

That's right boys and girls, our president once again looking presidential. This time at a historic U.N. summit where historic things have taken a historic turn into rhetoric. As many of you, not blind to the world, know, Obama gave a giant kiss to the U.N. in a form of one of his verbal cabals. From multiple references to the "regime change" in the US (the "I'm not Bush" b.s.) to how we should disarm and all be merry, with the trademark swinging of the head from left to right with every sentence fragment spewed, Obama has delivered yet another whopper for the Obamaphiles.
"The historic resolution we just adopted enshrines our shared commitment to a goal of a world without nuclear weapons," Obama said immediately after the vote to "lock down all vulnerable nuclear materials within four years".
The type writer wielding monkeys must have been up for weeks compiling that speech. And no, I am not being racist, for all you soft hearted folks. The monkey analogy is reminiscent of a Soviet Physics book written by M. Perelman, in the 30's. There he states that according to the chaos theory (no, not the one from "Jurassic Park") if you give a couple of monkeys , typewriters and teach them to hit the keys at random, they will eventually write everything that has ever been or will be written... And so on... Now that we're past that... The monkeys have been working overtime on this one. And why not? The U.S. is up in rotation to hold the council presidency this month and Obama was the first American president to preside over a Security Council summit. El Presidente got to do a couple of fun things like calling the meeting into session and announcing that "the draft resolution has been adopted unanimously.", with Michelle Obama behind him, drooling with satisfaction. I guess she's finally proud to be an American.
Now that we've wiped the tears of joy and pride in our leader out of our eyes and done crapping our pants with infantile satisfaction , lets see if reality will descend upon us light, like a feather or hard, like a dump truck. So we're all in agreement about no nukes. We must fully regulate all weapons grade nuclear material in the next four years (with a wand swiftly pulled right out of Joe Biden's ass) and disarm and so on. Oh yeah, and we can't attack someone who doesn't have nukes according to China, oh yeah and we're in agreement to "untie the knots" of nations seeking nuclear non-proliferation according to Russia...
I'm glad we agree with our formerly Communist and currently Communist "friends". Don't worry folks, it will all be ok, 'cause states without nuclear weapons are guaranteed access to peaceful nuclear technology for electricity generation.
Wait a minute... Something smells rotten in the state of Denmark... So countries that don't have nukes will get the technology to make nukes? and yes, you can still make nukes even if the reactor is not "Capable" of making weapons grade fission material. Because as much as we want to trust in that shiny thought, we can't escape the laws of physics. All they would need to do would be to expand the centrifuge and keep the plutonium brewing a bit longer and whala! You go from 3% enriched for "electricity" purposes, to 93% and they got them some "NUKULIR" weapons grade jambalaya.
So, to sum things up, everyone agrees. We're committed to dropping our trousers, Russia is in agreement that we should "untie the knots" for states looking for Nuclear Non-proliferation and China is in agreement that we shouldn't hit countries with no known nukes (since all countries are so forthcoming about their nukes in the first place).
**brakes screeching**
Umm... What are we in agreement about? Screw it, it doesn't matter, because Obama got to do historic things today at the U.N. The only missed opportunity for Obama was that he forgot to pitch some t-shirts to the crowd to raise money for his 2012 campaign, which, from the sound of the rhetoric he's already running.

I am an American Liberal Deuche

This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated, but not controlled or dispensed by the US department of energy. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility which has always had a monopolist, ironclad grip on that whole sector.
After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels, the content of which is provided by private news firms, to see what the national weather service of the national oceanographic and atmospheric administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the national aeronautics and space administration as well as other private firms, such as Lockeed-Martin, Northop and Boeing just to name a few, without which the US space program and modern day NWS and NOAA would not exist.
I watched this while eating my breakfast of US department of agriculture inspected food which was grown and raised by private farms and coops, and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the food and drug administration, but made and dispensed by those evil drug companies.
At the appropriate time as regulated by the US congress and kept accurate by the national institute of standards and technology and the US naval observatory, which uses the Atomic Clock, first manufactured by National Company of Malden and now maintained by HP, I get into my national highway traffic safety administration approved automobile which would fall apart within a mile if manufactured by them, and set out to work on the roads build by the private contractor firms which bid on contracts sent out by federal departments of transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the environmental protection agency yet still provided and dispensed by the evil oil companies, using legal tender issued by the federal reserve bank which would be worth as much as toilet paper if not for the private market.
On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the US postal service, which is going under like the mighty Titanic due to their poor management and drop the kids off at the public school which is not nearly as good as a private school, but it’s free, right? After you pay for it with your taxes, that is.
After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the regulations imposed by the department of labor and the occupational safety and health administration on my workplace which is most likely a private firm as well, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, plus the fact that living customers are a lot more useful to private food manufacturers then dead ones, I drive my ,NHTSA regulated but not built, car back home on the DOT roads built by private contractors, to my house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshal’s inspection and the fact that the private contractor firm that built it knew what they were doing, and which has not been plundered of all it’s valuables thanks to the local police department which heavily relies on cooperation with private security firms.
I then log on to the internet which was developed by the defense advanced research projects administration but brought to people like you and me by “hackers” from MIT and then “pipelined” by AT&T and post on a plethora of blogs about how SOCIALISM in medicine is not so BAD because the government needs to wipe my nose for me, since I can’t do it myself and don’t know the difference between regulatory agencies versus manufacturers and providers of goods and services.